Lonely ....
I have been so lonely lately like seriously.. It's been a year since I've broken up with my ex and i haven't dated since.. It's been hard for me to date in the first place.. It's always awkward and u never know what the other person's intention really is .. It's also hard for me to feel comfortable with someone and that isn't really helping my case.. I want a BF .. I don't need one but for a change I wanna have something meaningful with someone.. OMG im getting emotional writing this haha!! I just wanna be happy.. I haven't felt any sort of Joy for the past little while !!
I haven't been putting any recent pictures of me so might as well update that !!
SO here goess~~
Also 2PM made a comeback recently and unfortunately without their leader, Jae Bom!! Many people hasn't been liking the new tunes from the now 6 members!! But in their defense I think that it's appropriate the type of songs they are releasing at the moment!! With their up and downs this year I feel the that they actually emotionally connects and relates with what they are singing!! I really liked how mature they have become as people and artists!! Even their dance has had a bit more artistic flare to it !! Don't get me wrong the Bboy style of Dancing they have been doing in the past is pretty awesome, but i find that the dance for their new single Heartbeat tells more of a story thus adding a much needed touch of polish to their style!!
I haven't been putting any recent pictures of me so might as well update that !!
SO here goess~~
Also 2PM made a comeback recently and unfortunately without their leader, Jae Bom!! Many people hasn't been liking the new tunes from the now 6 members!! But in their defense I think that it's appropriate the type of songs they are releasing at the moment!! With their up and downs this year I feel the that they actually emotionally connects and relates with what they are singing!! I really liked how mature they have become as people and artists!! Even their dance has had a bit more artistic flare to it !! Don't get me wrong the Bboy style of Dancing they have been doing in the past is pretty awesome, but i find that the dance for their new single Heartbeat tells more of a story thus adding a much needed touch of polish to their style!!
Something Cryptic
If I fell in love with you...
Seems like the ultimate question isn't it?
With a quivering heart and hesitant soul,
I will always wonder ...
Will always see, watch, someone I can never have...
Will always be in a distance ...
Holding in things I want to say but probably will never..
Holding in tears that I'm not even entitled to have..
If I fell...
Seems like the ultimate question isn't it?
With a quivering heart and hesitant soul,
I will always wonder ...
Will always see, watch, someone I can never have...
Will always be in a distance ...
Holding in things I want to say but probably will never..
Holding in tears that I'm not even entitled to have..
If I fell...
Clouded Judgement ..
Listening To: I Don't Care - 2ne1
Mood: Melancholy
June month has gone by and what a month it was.. Too many things happened, good and bad.. Well lets start by discussing my older brother's visit here in Toronto!! Honestly I really miss Sho and I thought I wouldn't because we always talk on MSN or phone anyways so I thought hmm I think it would be the same.. But unfortunately it's not.. I never knew that someone's physical presence in my life could have such a strong impact on me.. When we first saw each other I was a lot more nervous than i would have liked.. I mean i gave him the most awkward hug that I have given in my entire life.. It's not that I didn't want to, it was just i was thinking of his expectations of me.. I was very self conscious. But as the days went on I got more comfortable to being around Sho. He was a lot more brotherly than i would have expected!! He taught me a lot of things like drinking etiquette haha!!! He also gave his brotherly speech which he said he wanted to do in person rather than on phone or MSN!! it made me appreciate him even more and I am thankful that he is in my life because I wouldn't have known what I have done in the past if I couldn't talk to my hyung ah!! I really miss him ... Even tho his experience here hasn't been the greatest and I feel really bad for that and I'm hoping that next time he visits i can make up for whatever disappointment he had the first time he was here!
Don't u just hate it when u are completely wrong about a person ? I thought i knew this former friend of mines, but apperantly I was mistaken... Did I turn a blind eye on things he does ?? Only accepting that he was pure and innocent and can do no other person harm ? Is it wrong of me to have defended him when all the evidence points into how he might harm another persons feelings? I wanted to see good in him.. I really did.. I wanted to believe that he wasn't a completely different person than what I've known him as.. It was so difficult for me to swallow the facts .. because he was a friend a good friend and sometimes i probably will always think of him as that.. It was hard to cut myself away from communicating with him, it pained me... But he hurt someone very special to me... Someone I would take a bullet for ... I can only hope that he leads his life in a more honest way.. Even though i don't think he feels regret over things he has done and he might not even care... But I do still care for his well being.. I wish he changes and see things in a more realistic manner in how to take care of his relationships wether it be friendships or love. Because if he doesn't, all he will have left in the end is his lonely pathetic self..
In a more positive note!!! I met someone who is great in every aspect imaginable .. He's very lovable and endearing.. I don't really know how to go about in saying that I really like him haha because my damn personality flaw prevents me from doing so T.T !! I believe that I think too much about these things .. i think of how it's wierd that I like someone considering we haven't even known each other that long!! I think about his expectations .. what he thinks about me and all that stuff.. I haven't liked anybody in a long time so it is hard to go about into making a move since my peronality is a bit cold on the front! i guess i have to get more comfortable and know him a lot more to go forward with anything really !! I don't wanna have any expectations beyond friendship right now unless I know that it will somehow work out in the end.. But yes wish me luck =D
Mood: Melancholy
June month has gone by and what a month it was.. Too many things happened, good and bad.. Well lets start by discussing my older brother's visit here in Toronto!! Honestly I really miss Sho and I thought I wouldn't because we always talk on MSN or phone anyways so I thought hmm I think it would be the same.. But unfortunately it's not.. I never knew that someone's physical presence in my life could have such a strong impact on me.. When we first saw each other I was a lot more nervous than i would have liked.. I mean i gave him the most awkward hug that I have given in my entire life.. It's not that I didn't want to, it was just i was thinking of his expectations of me.. I was very self conscious. But as the days went on I got more comfortable to being around Sho. He was a lot more brotherly than i would have expected!! He taught me a lot of things like drinking etiquette haha!!! He also gave his brotherly speech which he said he wanted to do in person rather than on phone or MSN!! it made me appreciate him even more and I am thankful that he is in my life because I wouldn't have known what I have done in the past if I couldn't talk to my hyung ah!! I really miss him ... Even tho his experience here hasn't been the greatest and I feel really bad for that and I'm hoping that next time he visits i can make up for whatever disappointment he had the first time he was here!
Don't u just hate it when u are completely wrong about a person ? I thought i knew this former friend of mines, but apperantly I was mistaken... Did I turn a blind eye on things he does ?? Only accepting that he was pure and innocent and can do no other person harm ? Is it wrong of me to have defended him when all the evidence points into how he might harm another persons feelings? I wanted to see good in him.. I really did.. I wanted to believe that he wasn't a completely different person than what I've known him as.. It was so difficult for me to swallow the facts .. because he was a friend a good friend and sometimes i probably will always think of him as that.. It was hard to cut myself away from communicating with him, it pained me... But he hurt someone very special to me... Someone I would take a bullet for ... I can only hope that he leads his life in a more honest way.. Even though i don't think he feels regret over things he has done and he might not even care... But I do still care for his well being.. I wish he changes and see things in a more realistic manner in how to take care of his relationships wether it be friendships or love. Because if he doesn't, all he will have left in the end is his lonely pathetic self..
In a more positive note!!! I met someone who is great in every aspect imaginable .. He's very lovable and endearing.. I don't really know how to go about in saying that I really like him haha because my damn personality flaw prevents me from doing so T.T !! I believe that I think too much about these things .. i think of how it's wierd that I like someone considering we haven't even known each other that long!! I think about his expectations .. what he thinks about me and all that stuff.. I haven't liked anybody in a long time so it is hard to go about into making a move since my peronality is a bit cold on the front! i guess i have to get more comfortable and know him a lot more to go forward with anything really !! I don't wanna have any expectations beyond friendship right now unless I know that it will somehow work out in the end.. But yes wish me luck =D
FIYAHHH!!!!!! - The Trip , My New Obsession and some Rantings ~
So for reasons too personal to discuss I haven't blogged this entire month! Due mostly cause I was in the U.S and the Philippines for the better parts of May! The trip to the U.S. seems to be an obvious bust! I really hate that country!! Everything about it is wrong wrong wrong !!! Just so bad i can't spaz enough on how horrible the U.S is !!!
After a hellish week in the U.S finally prepared to go to the homeland, The Philippines! Well I didn't really want to go home actually I dreaded going home!! But I really had no choice as it is an emergency why we went in the first place!! Everything i remembered from when I left there when I was small seemed different!! In the aspect that when I left there everything seemed bigger and when I got back everything are somehow smaller, narrower than it was !! Most of the days spent there I was sick!! I had the flu and a really bad one at that !! And tropical weather and high fevers are no fun at all!! I went to Baguio the weather there is the best and If I ever go back it's probably the place i would most likely stay !! Though the streets there are so confusing it goes around and around and left and right !!! If you do not know your way around you would probably get lost !!
I have a new obsession!!!! Well not really new but I have been anticipating their debut since the start of the year !! They did collaborate with Big Bang in the Lollipop song but its not really an official debut song for them!! But they finally debuted with Fire and that's just what it is FIYAAAAA!!!! My 2ne1 girls released 2 versions of the Video, The Street version and the Space version!! The space is more visually appealing with the colors and the lights and the special effects thats why I prefer the Street version more because My fave member Sandy Park ( Dara) is so ghetto gangster on it !! Well here ar the videos!!
Fire Space Version
After a hellish week in the U.S finally prepared to go to the homeland, The Philippines! Well I didn't really want to go home actually I dreaded going home!! But I really had no choice as it is an emergency why we went in the first place!! Everything i remembered from when I left there when I was small seemed different!! In the aspect that when I left there everything seemed bigger and when I got back everything are somehow smaller, narrower than it was !! Most of the days spent there I was sick!! I had the flu and a really bad one at that !! And tropical weather and high fevers are no fun at all!! I went to Baguio the weather there is the best and If I ever go back it's probably the place i would most likely stay !! Though the streets there are so confusing it goes around and around and left and right !!! If you do not know your way around you would probably get lost !!
I have a new obsession!!!! Well not really new but I have been anticipating their debut since the start of the year !! They did collaborate with Big Bang in the Lollipop song but its not really an official debut song for them!! But they finally debuted with Fire and that's just what it is FIYAAAAA!!!! My 2ne1 girls released 2 versions of the Video, The Street version and the Space version!! The space is more visually appealing with the colors and the lights and the special effects thats why I prefer the Street version more because My fave member Sandy Park ( Dara) is so ghetto gangster on it !! Well here ar the videos!!
What Time is it now?? 2PM!!!!
This week in the latest edition of K-pop talk, I will be talking about the hottest song and group of the moment 2PM!! Last yearI completely shunned them as beeing just another mediocre idol group that has nothing going on except for beeing yummy Man Candies !! Imagine my surprise when thier long anticipated comeback song had actual credibility !! Again and again is a typical JYP produced song with the alienesque base rythm which in itself is already fire and the lyrics are a welcome improvement to what they were singing last year!! With the momentum already going for them i just have a little (just very tiny) bit of criticism!! I feel the lyrics they are singing although very much improved is somewhat too mature for thier age!! I feel that there is a disconnect with the members i think!! The only part that really clicked for me is Junho's part which i feel he somewhat managed to get across what he is singing unlike the rest of the group!
Now moving on to the video !! I felt like it was a good video again another step up from what they put out last year!! They do have amazing moves (The tutting part was illl!!!) !! The dance break being the last part of the video I thought was a little unexpected!! The styling on the other hand I can live without (though Junsu's vest i s a must have for me haha) and the overall concept of stalking ur ex was so overdone ( JYP did it with "The House you Live in", a couple of years ago) !!
Now moving on to the video !! I felt like it was a good video again another step up from what they put out last year!! They do have amazing moves (The tutting part was illl!!!) !! The dance break being the last part of the video I thought was a little unexpected!! The styling on the other hand I can live without (though Junsu's vest i s a must have for me haha) and the overall concept of stalking ur ex was so overdone ( JYP did it with "The House you Live in", a couple of years ago) !!
Congratulations to the One and Only Mister Sunny Fong ^^!!
I have been following Project Runway Canada since it started this season!! I must say there were a lot of surprises this season to say the least (Adejoke was robbbeddddd)!! But in all the craziness that the show has thrown about the only one with such a level head to prevail in the design and the stress of the competition was my fave designer from the start, Sunny Fong !!! Sunny I think won the most challenges in any Project Runway incarnations in the world!!! It is sometimes unfair though because in my opinion there isnt really any competition for him in this show!! He is such an amazing designer and without no ego at all. He is the most humble person in that entire show he isn't all maniacal as some of the deluded untalented designers in the competition ( Kim, Jason and Gienvieve)!!! I love how how Sunny took so much risks in the competition and yet it always looked like a piece that is attributed to him!! I love how clean and super structured all his pieces were especially in the last Runway collection !! He has such an amazing cunstruction and tailoring skills for someone self taught, it is amazing!! There is no other words to describe him other than genius!! There were so many of his designs that really stood out !! The L'oreal campaign dress was amazing it was so whimsical and utterly fresh and the construction again is nothing short of amazing !! The Avante Garde piece inspired by the Royal Ontario Museum was another number that was impressive by all acounts!! The quilting details on the front and the crystalization cones he embeded to the right side of the Jacket was really inspired and to think he only had less than 48 hours to make it is impressive !!! All in all the best designer really won and his versatillity and his amazing skills both creatively and technically will carry him very far !! He is really someone to look out for not just in Canada but globally !! Congratulations mister Fong!! Bravo and Congratulations ^^!!
Mister Benjamin Khoo
I have been thinking about blogging about some friends haha!! Im not sure if its a good idea or not but ill only blog about them lovingly though ~~!! Im thinking making this as something recuring to integrate with my blog because lets face it what makes me interesting is the company i keep.. Don't you think !!~~
So first off is my friend Benji !! Honestly Benjamin is the most difficult person I've ever met in my entire life!!! He's a lot of the times random and hard to get -_-!! Which in turn frustrates me a lot of the times!! But when he isn't being that way hes a very very very charming person!! I sometimes wonder how such an enigmatic face such as his, and a smile that can make you brighten up have such a difficult personality to deal with haha it just doesn't match!! In saying that Benji is probably one of the people I can be most direct with!! I can say almost anything to him even at random without worrying too much! Even though sometimes he doesn't take me so seriously, like when I tell him things that's personal he just usually just make a joke about it -_-!! He likes goats which I find a little strange.. He doesn't like the color pink!! He thinks that KFCs with a breakfast menu are fascinating.. He is an insomniac in my opinion because I never see him sleep on proper time!! But I probably wouldn't change him or else it would be weird because it wouldn't be Benji ! =)
Benji is so super athletic !! =O
So first off is my friend Benji !! Honestly Benjamin is the most difficult person I've ever met in my entire life!!! He's a lot of the times random and hard to get -_-!! Which in turn frustrates me a lot of the times!! But when he isn't being that way hes a very very very charming person!! I sometimes wonder how such an enigmatic face such as his, and a smile that can make you brighten up have such a difficult personality to deal with haha it just doesn't match!! In saying that Benji is probably one of the people I can be most direct with!! I can say almost anything to him even at random without worrying too much! Even though sometimes he doesn't take me so seriously, like when I tell him things that's personal he just usually just make a joke about it -_-!! He likes goats which I find a little strange.. He doesn't like the color pink!! He thinks that KFCs with a breakfast menu are fascinating.. He is an insomniac in my opinion because I never see him sleep on proper time!! But I probably wouldn't change him or else it would be weird because it wouldn't be Benji ! =)
Benji is so super athletic !! =O
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